The explaination

I feel crazy. like all the time.

more crazy than I can verbally admit. My paranoia causes me to believe things that do not exist or that are obscene. I read too far into every situation and make a mess of my life.

I have a wonderful boyfriend who does all he can to understand me. I just feel like I don't even understand myself.

I got a job offer today. I am terrified. I cannot stand meeting new people. I have been stuck for a long time in jobs that don't pay well or that I hate because I cannot push myself to move on. What if I fail? yes, this is a normal concern, of everyone. for me, this means I will make myself fail, I will do anything to be sure something goes wrong. I am scared. What happens when I get confused, What happens if this is too much stress. What if I cannot get past these thoughts?

What if I am crazy?

I am depressed. no, not sad. Depressed.

I seem normal so far, I will open up more.... one day.